1. |
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I require a nuanced understanding of the ways that our wave functions overlap whether we’re near or far in some way we are mixed together whether we like it or not
To adopt the space and regulate
The gaps between the poles
That have been here divided into four!
A polychotomy
To make sense of
A soup
Wearing a legitimate nonbinary person uniform!
I’m so pleased to be with you tonight!
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2. |
The Need
04:15
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Please no promises!
Judging from the last few years
I’ve learned
Her little preferences
Must be ignored
In the name of honesty
She said to me:
“You’d tell me if you felt the need...
Wouldn’t you?”
“I love you...”
Trust me
I’ve done the research
How many windows must I have navigated?!
Transition
And when she says
“You don’t have to explain
Yourself to me”, that’s why
Oh she says
“I’ve been here before!”
You convince yourself nothing will change, but it’s in the name!
Transition
And it puts me off
Mentioning again
Despite her assurances
“You’d tell me if you felt the need
Wouldn’t you?”
“Do you feel the need to medicate?
I love you as you are.”
Could you love me as I’m not?
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3. |
Decipher This
03:17
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Counting the silence
Open my mouth to say so
I can’t breathe here the air is thick and slow moving
I’m open to comment
I’ll show you my product
But I can’t talk about the recent past much
It’s communication
I think that I’ll explain it
It’s the way I fold my clothes
The way her voice repeating
The way that I’m constructed
Decipher this, baby!
Put your finger on it
Turn me round and call me
I wish that you could be me
See if you hear it
The process goes as follows:
Watch how I practice moving
The way I think of moving
The way my words are moving
The way I’m done with drinking
And the way I learn by touching
The way I’m not so trusting
It’s the way I fold my clothes
The way her voice repeating
The way that I’m constructed
It’s all connected, decipher this.
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4. |
Anatomy
03:27
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Who are these brave souls
Who stand there in their livery?
If I give you this anatomy
Will you feel at home?
I give you this hair
I give you these eyes
I give you this nose
I give you this mouth
I give you this neck
I give you these shoulders
I give you these elbows
I give you these wrists
I give you this chest
I give you these nipples
I give you this belly
I give you this back
I give you these hips
I give you this penis
I give you these testes
I give you this anus
I give you these thighs
I give you these knees
I give you these shins
I give you these feet
I give you these hands
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5. |
Nails
03:32
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6. |
Take Both
02:37
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I was taken to overcome my programming and take both
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7. |
They Are a Follower
04:24
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Here they come
blowing their horn again
Porus as anything
Where does she
Where does she know them from
She’s seen their photography
An overshoot
The buttons are minescule
So expect inaccuracy
Hey you seem
Pretty damn confident
Are you gonna show me round
So virtually
They give her the room by room
Of some future getaway
She’s a star
She glides so parisian
And they are a follower
Asking how
How does she find the time
To make them a waste of it
A photograph
Roses atop the frame
Scattered romantically
Hold my drink
While I take a measurement
The dark makes her radiant
She’s a star
She glides so parisian
And they are a follower
Asking how
How does she find the time
To make them a waste of it
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8. |
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With three boys
You beat the odds at one in eight
And I can hear you saying
You would have loved a daughter...
Oh was I held as your daughter would be held?
Did I cry as your daughter would have cried?
You wanted a daughter
I would be your daughter plait my hair
You wanted a daughter
I’ll be your daughter plait my hair...
With one love!
You beat the odds at god knows what
And I know it’s hard
He’s not that empathetic
He has a heart
But struggles to access it, express it
And he expects emotional labour from you
And it’s not fair
We’re all capable
But boys don’t learn
Did you teach me?
Oh was I held as your daughter would be held?
Did I cry as your daughter would have cried?
You wanted a daughter
I would be your daughter plait my hair
And he expects emotional labour from you
And it’s not fair
We’re all capable
But boys don’t learn
Did you teach me?
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9. |
Whole
06:03
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I know
You’re not whole
You’ve been crushed
Your blood
Chemistry
Has been fucked
Babe
Can you come
Are you free?
To wait with me
You’re so kind
Holding
A space
In your mind
Gave
You my coat
As you smoked
Being
Your rock
When I can
Being
Your man
When I can
We kissed
At your desk
To keep warm
And love
Coiled up
In our throats
But I know
You’re not whole
You’ve been crushed
Your blood
Chemistry
Has been fucked
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10. |
Sailors
04:45
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You sailed until you found an island
To live on
And I am in your waters
You watch for me
Telescoping from your shores
I am sailing haphazardly
For an island of my own
And she quells storms
To the best of her abilities
And worries on the rain that she lets through
Has dreams of filling up my sailboats and sending me under
But at least I could stay here if so
When prevailing winds
In the evenings guide my drifting
I wonder where the edges of her territory are
And if other islands start appearing as horizon specks
And I feel like I’m nearing the edge
I’ll cut my losses and jump
---
Oh baby
If I couldn’t be
Your man anymore
How would you feel about me
Being your girl?
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Rubie London, UK
Rubie is a songstress, songwriter and producer from south London. Her work centres her unbridled trans voice; power ballads
for plotting queer escape.
Aside from her solo work, she also plays in Jenny Moore's Mystic Business (Lost Map Records) & feminist punk choir F*Choir.
... more
Rubie recommends:
Amazing record by the POWERHOUSE Asher Fynn, whose voice you hear on my track Don't Come Back. Hero of the cabaret underground, electronic genius, best person I've ever heard at shrill wailing
go to album
He Earns Enough
by Jenny Moore's Mystic Business
An EP from the other band I play in, the glorious and unstoppable choral xylophone pop beauty of Mystic Business. Jenny is one of my musical soulmates and I am inspired by her work eternally
go to album
Toby who coproduced and mixed Whatever Cage with me drums and sings in this amazing project... driving and dancable and weird and political, I'm a mega fan and dancing at the front of all their gigs
go to albumIf you like Rubie, you may also like:
Mystic Mixness
by Jenny Moore's Mystic Business
supported by 6 fans who also own “Take Both”
go to album
the pink sunset over you
by angel apricot
angel apricot makes sweet and intimate '90s-style bedroom pop with delicate melodies and melancholic, reflective lyrics.
go to album
